Better yet, something that cracks me up every Spring...we get a bill in the mail from the Lenroot Canal Company.
Seriously! Seriously...and I laugh and laugh! I do. Who names their canal company anything with "root" in the title? Someone with a passive aggressive funny bone, that's for sure. KC disagrees. Every year he explains again to me that Lenroot is the last name of the founder of the canal...or something. I don't ever really pay attention to the details of his explanation because I am ROFL. KC doesn't get me, and why I laugh. But that's okay. Being polar opposites is so good for us.
Root canals. I can't explain it, but I completely FREAK OUT when I get major dental work done. I didn't used to be this way. When I was 14 years old I had all four wisdom teeth extracted with Nitrous Oxide and shots. There was a lot of tugging and pressure, but I don't remember feeling terror. At all.
About three years ago I had a root canal or a filling, (I don't remember). All I do remember was going into shock....PAIN and shaking, tears streaming down my face, extreme fear, and I was so cold! What a disaster...and embarrassment! It was awful. From that point forward I needed shots and N/O to even have my new crown fit and ground to the proper bite. For anything major, I get sedation. I have to be driven to the dentist's office because of the sedatives I take at home before. The doc sends me to the pharmacy to get one Valium to take the night before, and two Triazolam an hour before my appointment. After getting comfy in the dental chair they give me more stuff....some nasty powder under my tounge, and I am out in a matter of minutes. Afterwards they wheel me out, through the waiting area, in a wheelchair, to my car. I can only imagine how I must look to the other patients in waiting...dazed, mask imprints on my face, slobbering...again...totally embarrassing. Humbling. It's a good thing I have absolutely no wits about me and won't ever remember it.
Laughter and root canals. And Valium. I had to have a root canal last week. I took the Valium the night before. Had a great snooze, but woke up feeling fine....just fine. So convinced was I that I was fine, that I got up at my usual time, (5:45 AM) and made breakfast for my family. I was a little slow to get going...and ended waking my family up for bible study/breakfast later than usual, about 6:15. But I didn't care. No worries! ManChild had a class early, and had to go shower, so he couldn't make it. J'Dizzle wanted to come up, but said she had something to study for. I just smiled big and wisked my way up the stairs, to BigBear's room. He wouldn't wake up, either. But it was all OK. I sat down with KC and JaZzy at the breakfast table and said that we should start, as the others wouldn't be joining us. KC prayed, and then ask me to read from the Bible first.We were at Ephesians, chapter 3. So, in my normal voice, in my normal attitude of reading....I began:
1For this cause I Paul, the prisoner of Jesus Christ for you Gentiles,
...and here...I began laughing uncontrollably....repeating the word..."you-ward!"...over and over, between snorts and giggles and belly laughs! Then tears....more snorts, I was falling off my chair! I was doubled over! JaZzy and of course KC were both aware of the pill I had taken the night before...and JaZzy was thoroughly enjoying the show! When he laughed at me it drove me to fits of insane laughter! And on and on we went....KC, on the other hand....first looked at me as though I had seven heads. He didn't laugh! How could he not laugh? I laid my head on his chest and said..."This is so funny! I'm so sorry, but it's so funny and I can't help it!"
He grinned somewhat, patted me on the head and said, "I know. Why don't you go back to bed and lie down for a little longer?"
I said okay. Fits of laughter waved through me and I wobbled down the hallway to the bedroom and flopped on my bed. I think I must have looked much like a crazy woman from an old black and white psycho movie, who is about to be tried as a witch. I fell into my down comforter and continued giggling loudly, sometimes snorting. I closed my eyes, and quickly fell into a new peaceful sleep.
The best part, even though I was totally out of myself, was that it was SO much fun. My sweetheart hubbs and my 18 year old son have seen me absolutely as a crazy woman and I didn't care and I. loved. it! It almost seems like a dream now...and I still grin thinking about it!
Well, I have recovered. After J'Dizzle drove me to and from the dentist, I slept the rest of the day, all night, and half of the next day.
Another funny thing, when J'Dizzle brought me home, she told me (with much contempt in her voice) that BigBear had left school early because of a headache, and was home playing on the computer. When I appeaered in the doorway, I said hello to him and went directly to bed. It just didn't matter to me. And funny enough...it still doesn't. I have not called the school to excuse him, and probably wont, heehee!
Now I love the dentist.
Oh man, that is so hilarious. My dad used to joke when I was young that root canal means putting a canal - literally - on your gums. Seriously though, you're not alone, there are so many people who are afraid of the dentists, and it's understandable. However, we can't take care of our teeth alone, we need their help. Luckily for us, they are always willing to help.
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